So after a few short hours of feeling extremely proud of myself and reveling in all of my glory, the feeling of accomplishment has worn off and depression is setting in. I knew this moment was coming but, it is still hard to deal with. I will still think about he who shall remain nameless as much as I did before but the difference is, I won't be able to talk to him through my own self imposed rules. I think I am going to add to those rules and make it even harder for myself... No contact for the next 4 weeks. I think by the time a month is over I will be over him or well on my way to being so and that is a safe amount of time so that I don't go crazy and fall back into where I was before I see him again. But that is a whole other can of worms.
Right now I need to work on getting that empowered feeling I felt before back. I was thinking to myself earlier about how I need to do something tangible where I can see the results and be proud of what I have accomplished. Maybe I could build something by hand or learn to sew or something stupid like that. I'm approaching a landmark birthday in a few weeks and I don't have a whole hell of a lot in my opinion to show for the past 20 years. Sure others would beg to differ but as of right now that is how I feel.