Here goes nothing.

So I've decided to give this whole blogging thing a shot. Everyone seems to be doing it now a days, and not that I am a huge follower or anything, I just thought it would be a fun thing for me to do, until I get bored with it that is. I'm not savvy in the ways of blogging but who knows? Maybe I will develop a knack for it. But in all actuality, this is going to be nothing but me rambling on and on about the randomness that is my life. It seems that I have found myself at a crossroads and I'm not so sure where I am heading. Actually I've already passed the crossroad but I had no idea which path I chose or where either one of them would lead. Needless to say I am a bit lost at this point. Unfortunately, this is not the time to be lost... I am about to be 21 in a few weeks and a college senior. I should have my life together, or at least I think I should, but I don't and I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I sort of know what I want and what I want to do but, as of right now, I have no idea how to get to that point.
Maybe I will "find myself" on my epic journey to Italy. I am going to be studying abroad in Italy for four months and I am sure that experience will have a major impact on my life undoubtably. However, it scares the ever living crap out of me to think that I am about to head of to a foreign country for four months and have absolutely no clue what I am doing. I do take a little solace in the fact that I have three of my sorority sisters that are coming with me and a few other people that I know. I will at least have that support system. On top of that, I have this wonderful knack of failing upwards. Things happen to work out in the most mediocre way for me. Few things are ever extraordinary in my life but that is because I leave things up to chance and let things work themselves out. I think subconsciously I have a fear of failing, hell not so subconsciously actually. I'm terrified to fail in a grand way, so I settle for mediocrity and second best. I know I have the potential for greatness and greatness is what I desire but I getting in my own way. I suppose that is the first step right there of knowing where I am going. I am the only obstacle that is blocking the path to where I am suppose to be and where I am suppose to go from there.